I really need to lose some weight.
My good friend called yesterday to inform me that the workplace we
worked at twenty years ago is having a reunion. Yes, a bloody reunion.
Don’t get me wrong, it will be fun and I’m going to enjoy catching up
with some old friends that it’s been far too long since I last caught up
with. And a night out on the town
with my good friend is just what the doctor ordered. They’ve even created a web page for all past employees to
get onto and update their profile with stories and photo’s. Sounds great doesn’t it!
Yeah, well that’s all good in theory, it’s just I don’t look quite the
same as I did back then.
I could give you the excuse that two children have changed this body
but I will be honest and tell you that it’s been sixteen years since I last
gave birth. I think I’ve had
enough time go to the gym, don’t you?
I have tried a few things at home. I even invested my hard earned money into the Zumba DVD’s
thinking that in no time at all I’d look like the lovely lady on the box. Inserting the DVD into the machine, I
turned around and closed every blind in the living room in the hope that if any
of my neighbours were peeping tom’s they would be spared the scene that was
about to unfold. My husband of
course had set up camp on the lounge waiting with excitement as his wife was to
become a Latin dancing goddess right in front of his eyes. Well, what he did get was a half hour
of entertainment. Yes. Half hour was all I could do. This is in no way the fault of Zumba
but completely the fault of the family gene that made me completely
uncoordinated. It was after I had
tripped over my own feet for the tenth time and nearly put my back out I
realized that I wasn’t cut out for the Latin dancing goddess bit. Time to try something else.
Over the years I’ve tried Fernwood and Curves as well as one of the
smaller local gyms but the problem was never with the gym itself. They just can’t physically make me get
up off the couch and go can they?
I have even spent a bit of time at the Dojo that my children did
JuJitsu at, but after knocking my son to the ground in a very unintentional
move, I decided that that also wasn’t for me.
Bikram Yoga was fun, but I will admit to sitting on the floor with my
back against the door, secretly moving the towel blocking the draft coming in
from under it. Whilst I struggled
to stay conscious just sitting there, I watched the woman in front of me literally
bending herself in half, and decided there and then that this wasn’t for me
either.
I even tried normal yoga once.
Another friend and I decided to give it a go after our attempt at a Thai
boxing class had left us so sore we could barely move. Personally I enjoyed the class very
much and barely contained my laughter everytime my friend tried a pose and
fanny farted, but the instructor of that particular class was very serious and
it was recommended that this also wasn’t for us. So what next?
Well I’ve heard Spanx are good.
Maybe I should give them a try.
It’s not just the weight.
If it wasn’t for my absolute miracle worker of a hairdresser I’d be
completely grey and thank god my daughter decided to become a beauty
therapist. I may be ageing but I’m
doing it hairless in all the right places. Also she has access to the very best products money can buy. I’m just not sure if we actually earn
enough money to keep up my new addiction.
I would love to join weight watchers again as I have successfully lost
weight with them in the past. I
didn’t successfully keep it off but that was not their fault either (that’s the
fault of the family gene that keeps me addicted to chocolate). But I can’t afford it.
So I’ve decided I’m making my commitment to you. I’m going to go on a diet and I’m going
to get some exercise and report to you.
I hope you don’t mind but you’re going to keep me honest. So over the next ten weeks I’m going
tell you how I’m going. I’m also
going to print out my invite to the reunion and put it on the fridge along with
an old photo of myself. I have no
intentions of ever looking like that again as I know it is humanly impossible
for me to so and also I am ok with getting older. I just need to make a few improvements along the way.
So it’s with a sigh that I put on the joggers and hit the pavement.
And if I fail on this adventure, I think I’ll upload a photo to the
reunion site, that way they may not have quite a big a shock when they see me.
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