Shopping for that dreaded under garment!!

Ok. Today I went shopping for an under garment that all of us ladies need. Now in case you don't already know, when God handed breasts out, I happened to have gotten up early that day and was well and truly at the front of that queue. So I’m sure you can understand, this is not a shopping day I enjoy.  But the time had come, I needed more support. 

So it was with a deep breath, I rallied all my courage and prepared myself to hear those words I did not want to hear – the girls had grown.  (In fact, between you and I, I think they may have a life force all of their own.)  But it needed to be done.  I could put it off no longer – my old faithfuls needed to be retired.  So it was with a lot of deep breathing I walked into our very large department store and headed to the appropriate section.

What I was confronted with was rack after rack of the most beautiful garments I have ever seen.  Lots of beautiful colours, all embellished with diamantes and lace.  What was I worried about?  This was wonderful.  I’m almost positive that I could find something not only practical but also beautiful. 

Just as I was looking through the racks dreaming of wearing such gorgeous items, I heard a voice behind me and turned.  As I made eye contact with the sales assistant I was asked if I needed help. 

Well, actually, Yes, now that you mention it, I did need help.  I couldn’t understand where my size was.  Ever helpful, the lovely lady took one look at my assets and politely directed me to other racks closer to the back wall.  Dutifully following her, I stopped as she carefully selected an item and held it up for inspection.  I turned and looked over my shoulder thinking that a representative from Cirque De Soleil must be behind me but to my horror I realized that she was recommending this to me. 

“This is one of our most popular sellers as it is extremely comfortable,” she smiled.  Well, I suppose it ticked the box on practicality.  I listened as the sales lady listed all the wonderful things that this particular garment had to offer. 

“It also comes in a selection of colours,” she continued.  “We have black, white and beige.  Which one do you prefer?” she asked with a smile.  I turned slightly and looked longingly at the pretty pink one behind me. 

Now, I don’t want to complain as once I had put all my prejudices aside I found out that the sales lady was not lying.  It was extremely comfortable and after buying it in both black and white (unfortunately for me they were out of stock of the beige one) I walked out of the store smirking at the pretty little braziers, thinking that they may be beautiful, but were they as comfortable as this?  And safe in the knowledge that if

I ever fall out of an airplane without a parachute I’d have absolutely nothing to worry about.  All I have to do is slip off my t-shirt and shimmy out of my new under garment.  It already has built in handles.